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Singing out of tune

Was thinking about how embarrassed I felt every time someone in junior high school took the stage and performed singing completely out of tune, being all proud of her/himself. Parts of me were probably a bit envious of them for believing so much in themselves. I’ve always been way too self-critical. Always been thinking Why would I do this, someone else has already done it better? It’s like thinking Why would I live on this planet, someone else has already done it? Enough of this. Yolo and so on. Gonna sing out of tune on the blog every now and then from now on.

Spending the whole day in the studio, so – Juto, go on and start painting.

Sitting here scribbling, trying to learn how to use brushes again.

Buttcracks and Wrist Worms, all available in the shop.

Last Friday, Johan and I were sipping Guinness, talking about Tinder. Johan was like Of course I would try out Tinder if we divorced, would you? My instant answer was NO. We laughed about me being on Tinder, if I ever was, of course I would use a picture like the one above. Maybe a dog would like to hook up with me. I don’t want to hook up with any new human being anyway, guess it would take a long long time.

Here I am, singing out of tune at my desk. Instead of sitting waiting for making something really good, without even having the courage to try, I’m going to show you some of my process of learning how to paint. OK? This is real: I have been anxious about this for 8 years, being so ashamed of having lost the belief in my own creativity and comparing myself with others.

17 Comments

  • Jonna
    June 9, 2020 at 1:27 pm

    I actually really thought at first it was me in that photobooth photo 🤣

    Reply
    • Sandra
      June 15, 2020 at 1:24 pm

      Hahaha then you must look very good as well 😉

      Reply
  • Julia
    June 9, 2020 at 1:51 pm

    Okay! Looking forward to more of those!
    Since your picture brighten up my days so much lately, I quickly wanted to share this hashtag showing great japanese tiles I thought you might like (just saw it this morning and had to think of you 🙂 https://twitter.com/hashtag/%E8%B6%B3%E3%81%AE%E4%B8%8B%E3%81%AE%E3%82%B9%E3%83%86%E3%82%AD%E3%81%AA%E5%BA%8A

    Reply
    • Sandra
      June 15, 2020 at 1:25 pm

      Wow, so great to see, thanks for sending me that link, Julia!

      Reply
  • TnT
    June 9, 2020 at 2:28 pm

    I love this post. I am also afraid to being “out of tune”. So, I am sitting there, trying to write. Trying.

    Go, Sandra, go!

    Reply
    • Sandra
      June 15, 2020 at 1:25 pm

      Thanks for the encouragement, after I wrote this blog post, of course I panicked and didn’t do anything the rest of the week. Now it’s monday and HEY SANDRA!

      Reply
  • Moos
    June 9, 2020 at 2:37 pm

    Sounds very familiar. Have a degree from art school but I still think the things I used to make aren’t any good 🙁
    Very good to see you paint again!

    Reply
    • Sandra
      June 15, 2020 at 1:26 pm

      Thanks! I’m gonna start… again.

      Reply
  • Cynthia
    June 9, 2020 at 3:08 pm

    Singing out of tune anyway. Great metaphor for artist insecurity, which I’ve battled for 50 years or more! Thanks for the reminder to ignore that stupid part of my brain. And the ornate cream-colored frame around your funny photo is inspired.

    Reply
    • Sandra
      June 15, 2020 at 1:26 pm

      Uh, I got afraid of singing again. Oh these stupid voices being unkind to yourself, so stupid.

      Reply
  • Pamela
    June 9, 2020 at 8:04 pm

    Oh I can’t wait to see your painting. I’m very much a beginner and am trying to remind myself it’s all practice! It’s inspiring to see others work and process.

    Reply
    • Sandra
      June 15, 2020 at 1:28 pm

      Yay, hope you’re having fun painting, Pamela <3

      Reply
  • Camilla
    June 10, 2020 at 5:48 am

    En sån bra liknelse och så stärkt och glad jag känner mig av att läsa det här! Jag tänker en del på konst som en förlängning av ens innersta natur, på nåt sätt, och att det bara är du som kan bildsätta DIN innersta natur, det är helt omöjligt för någon annan att dra samma streck som du, färglägga som du, välja som du. Därför spelar det ingen roll vad andra har gjort eller gör och jag vill gärna se det du gör. Kram!

    Reply
    • Sandra
      June 15, 2020 at 1:29 pm

      Väldigt bra sagt Camilla, tack! Kram tillbaka <3

      Reply
  • sonrie
    June 11, 2020 at 12:04 am

    Yes, let’s see the process! If you are brave enough 🙂 as a fellow creative and artist it can be a challenge to post pictures of the process and of course, compare ourselves to others. My advice: use others as applicable for inspiration and to learn from and know that your art will be unique to you. I can’t wait to see what you have.

    Reply
    • Sandra
      June 15, 2020 at 1:30 pm

      Thank you, sonrie! 🙂

      Reply
  • Art part start – Sandra Juto
    June 18, 2020 at 1:56 pm

    […] I decided not to care, so here’s what I’ve been scribbling/painting/whatever today. I promised to show you without feeling awkward about […]

    Reply

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